I loved you long before I even met you, before the darkness was blessed with your light. I have loved you from a distance every day wishing the distance between us would shrink even a hairbreadth every day. Every time you speak , my pulse races , my heart leaps and dances out in joy.

I have loved before, I have loved to a fault , caught up in the rapture of being in love - crossing barren deserts and climbing forbidding peaks, traversing huge distances, fighting monsters and demons within and outside, enduring jealousy and betrayal and all of it at great cost perhaps even to my sanity.

I have loved with every fibre of my being, every thought and action-everything of what little I have had but I have never known that feeling of being loved and hoped for, of tears flowing down her cheek because she misses me-of gentle kisses in the evanescing moonlight.

Its not that I have never heard the words ,"I love you," said to me. They were just hollow words, carved out of nothing, spat out like lukewarm salty water onto my wounded heart. Always the knight in shining armour, yet always the clown.

I love you but it's a bittersweet love. I know I can never have you, or hold your hand tight, kiss your tears or your lips. I could be your hero or your saviour but you would never know it. I love you with an unimaginable intensity but its a sad love now knowing you will never know my love. You may perhaps an inkling of it but you would never know how it feels to love the way I love you.

I know well your heart belongs to someone else--a good man who takes care of you and lives for your children and you. And as much as I love you, I know I could never tear a family apart. I could never deprive a child of her father.

 And now my life is ebbing away.I'll see your lovely eyes and I can hear your voice as you sing. You warmed my heart and kept it beating. I can see your smile and it warms my heart my heart that will always beat for you up until it's last.

She read the letter and looked around. As she walked past a waste bin she put it in. The wind blew it off and it was carried down the street. It stuck against a car windscreen. A man in a black suit came by and cursed. He swore and tossed it into the car.

Salma had lost her phone. She looked everywhere for it and then heard it vibrating. The vibrating was coming from the couch she had just bought. She pulled away the cushions and fished for the phone. She felt a piece of paper and fished it out. Out came her phone and she was chuffed.

She read the letter over and over again and then showed it to her friends.

"You need to get boned," said Carmen

"Is my mascara running?" asked Leanne.

"Cute, ooh! That ass." said Melissa as she eyed a young man walk past.

"Salma, you need to find someone. Ali was a manwhore," said Ana.

And as life typically goes she became caught up in work projects. The humdrum of life incessantly rolled on as it had done for millenia. After her breakup work became her life . One day she got to work and stood at the entrance watching the people go in."I can't do this," she said and began to sob.

"Hey Salma. If you need some time off, go for it. You haven't taken a break in two years. Take off a day a week. I insist ," Mr Saaks her boss said

"I have to find who wrote this," Salma said.

"But why?" asked Carmen.

"I just must," Salma said.

"Hey Luke. Where did you get the couch from?" she asked.

"I got it from Falcon Crest retirement market years ago," he said.

"He's so hot," said Carmen as they walked away. Luke blushed at her attention. "One day I want a silver fox like him," Carmen said.

"Carmen, yesterday you wanted the guy from Pizza Hut," Salma said.

Luke was the janitor in her building and always helped Salma with repairs and errands.

Carmen smacked her voluminous bottom and said,"This pony needs..."

Salma looked at her sternly. They drove to Falcon Crest. A dear old lady Mrs Walter spoke to Salma. "Thank you my dear," she said as Salma helped her down the stairs."I can't remember. It's many years ago. Luke did you say?" Mrs Walter asked.

"Oh yes I remember him. Very polite. Helpful lad. Very handsome but bashful. He was with this sour puss who clung onto him like a stubborn stain. If I remember correctly someone donated the couch to us. It came from Pietermaritzburg. I saw him a few times after that and he was divorced. Poor thing. What a gentleman! " she said.

As they were leaving a man in a wheelchair waved at them."Henry, remember who gave us this couch?" Mrs Walter asked him. He shook his head.

"A dead end?" asked Luke.

She showed him the letter. He read it quickly. "Is there a second part?" he asked.

"No, what do you think of it?" she asked.

"It's certainly not cerebral. Very schmaltz. Not many people are sincere like that," Luke said.

Salma looked up the word schmaltz when she had some free time. "Hey Luke, let's go to the home," she said.

They were thrilled to see him. "I was away for a while. Duty called," he said. He had been helping them with repairs for years. Salma was talking to a man who had latched onto her. The sun lit up her hair from behind and she was glowing. Luke felt his heart leap"She likes you," said Mrs Walter's.

"You should roll your dice, young man," Mr Edward's the man in the wheelchair said. "Oh I remember now where we got the blue couch from. It was from Dr Small. He moved here from Pietermaritzburg years ago. I'll give you his number," he said.

"Come with me please," she asked.

"Saturday is my busy day," Luke said.

"Let's go during the week. I have every second Friday off for the rest of the year," Salma said.

Dr Small was in a wheelchair. He smiled at them. "Muscular dystropy. It's why I became a doctor," he said.

"One of my patients gave that to me as payment ten years ago. He died in a car accident a year ago," Dr Small said.

It was a dead end but Luke enjoyed being with Salma. The couch had quite a history and they eventually found out it was made twenty years ago and sold from Lido furnishes in Lansdowne. It had traveled the country. Cape Town, Ladysmith, Pietermaritzburg, Upington, Cape Town, Worcester and had been back in Cape Town for a while now.

"Slim chance of finding out where it came from," said Salma.

"Yes, it's a pity," he said.

He looked at her large almond eyes and perfect lips. "An old man and young beautiful woman chasing after a blue couch," he said.

"A handsome, kind man with a beautiful soul...." she began.

She pulled him close and kissed him. She melted in his arms. "Wow!" she said. He smiled at her and kissed her back.

"Mom, that's great. I'm so excited," Salma said.

She was excited that her mother Nadia was visiting. After her father had died a few years ago her mother had become a recluse. She was a stunning woman with long hair and almond shaped eyes like Salma.

"How did you meet him?" Nadia asked.

"I found this letter in that blue couch and we started looking for the owner," Salma began.

"Oh, what letter?" Nadia asked.

"I'll get it," Salma said.

Nadia read it and then began to cry. She sobbed uncontrollably and Salma comforted her. When Nadia was more composed Salma asked her what was wrong.

"I.... I have read this letter before. Many years ago someone gave this to me and.....," she began.

"Someone gave this you? Did dad give this to you?" Salma asked.

"No, it was someone else," Nadia said.

"Oh!" said Salma.

"I threw it away. I loved you father. I still do," Nadia said.

"Who wrote it?" asked Salma.

"Some guy I worked with. He's gone now," she said.

"Did you love him?" asked Salma.

"I did," said Nadia.

"Wow! Did dad know?" Salma asked.

Nadia nodded. "Your father knew him too. He disappeared not long after that. We heard he died ten years ago. Your father was very upset," Nadia said.

Just then the doorbell rang. Nadia went to get some water and Luke came in. "Mom, this is Luke Johnson," Salma said.

Nadia look surprised. "Hi Nadia,"Luke said.

She hugged him and began to sob. Salma looked surprised." We used to work with each other, " Nadia said.

Salma looked at the letter and then Luke. Her mother smiled. The life had returned to her eyes. Salma felt her heart sink.